The Nigerian Online Newspaper

What’s the big deal with being gay?, by Anurika Onyelemelam

We were sitting in the office of the Commissioner of Police, Prince Umar Manko, when a homicide detective walked past with the suspect.
The suspect, a male, from one of the most expensive universities in Nigeria, was alleged to have murdered his male lover at the Bariga area of Lagos State in a fit of blind jealousy.
The sister of the murdered victim later discovered her brother in a pool of his blood. He had been stabbed several times. The room was in a mess. There were signs of struggles everywhere.
It was later claimed that the undergraduate discovered that his lover was about to get married to a girl and couldn’t bear the thought of the guy jilting him. So he killed him.
I heard that he was arrested through the victim’s Black Berry phone, which he took from the guy’s room, but nothing had been heard about the case since then.
I also remember that his rich parents had done everything to ‘kill the case.’
The suspect was not just rude; he was hostile and appeared ready to hit policemen.
Anyway, that’s not the point of today’s discussion.
Today’s discussion was the argument his presence generated among us journalists, waiting to see the Commissioner of Police for a press conference.
You would be shocked at what intelligent journalists or those perceived to be intelligent came up with.
They argued that people that are gay are possessed by demons and only spiritual deliverance, carried out by powerful and spirit filled prayer warriors, can send out such demons. Others called them ‘possessed by evil spirit.’
I was the only one in my corner, arguing against the lot of them and I also know that many of you folks, reading this will agree with them and look for ways and means to locate me, in order to whip my ass.
Yes, I argued with them, that it was not evil spirit or any such nonsense. They said these gay folks are not of God. I told them that it was God that created the gay folks.
They buttressed their argument with God’s destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah and I asked them to show me where there is transfusion of blood in the bible. Or where there is cloning in the bible. I asked them to show me where Siamese twins are in the bible.
What about showing me the hundred variants of cancer we have today in the bible? I read a piece where scientists are still trying to understand why a young in India had blood coming out from her eyes instead of tears. Try explaining those….
I was pissed.
There’re so many things we can’t understand and shouldn’t attempt to pretend to understand because we would end up looking stupid.
At a point in the argument, one of the visitors who came to see the Commissioner of Police got up in a threatening manner, walked towards me and I feared he was about to hit me.
He stared at me coldly and said in a voice filled with hatred: “Woman, you need deliverance!”
God! Such hatred!
The guy was a walking Boko Haram. His heart is a Boko Haram heart. He called himself a Christian, but it was obvious he was ready to kill me.
I was not even speaking or arguing with him. I was arguing with my colleagues.
Wetin be him own for the matter?
Anyway, I’m sure many of you already know where this discussion is tilting to. You know my position. What is your position?
Our lawmakers did well when they threw dust in the face of the so called civilized world on the issue of legalizing gay practice in Nigeria.
You’re getting confused abi?
You’re asking yourself, which side is she on?
Well, I don’t want gay marriages to be legalized, but I sure as hell don’t hate gay folks!
I don’t think anybody would want to be born different. If you read some of their stories, you’d understand and feel sorry for them.
But people fear what they don’t understand and treat it with scorn and hatred.
If you have a child and he or she grows up and you one day find him/her banging her/his fellow gender, would you kill that child?
You may probably disown him/her, but why not kill the person and get over the shame?
I know a pastor who disowned his son after he found him ramming into his best friend. The young men thought they had the house to themselves and didn’t know when the Pastor came home.
He heard noises, went into his son’s room and founding him banging his fellow male. He fainted. When he came to, the guy had packed some of his clothes and disappeared from home.
He later heard that his father disowned him.
If Mr. A is comfortable banging Mr. B through the anus, that is their funeral!
If Janet, a female, fancies herself in love with Monica, another female, and wants to marry her…nor be their wahala be that?
Oh come on, you have to understand the Nigerian society to know and realize that gay marriages will not easily be accepted.
At least not in this life time. Ha! We still have a long way, rivers and bridges to cross.
We are too religious, too traditional, too set in our African ways. It is either a guy bangs a woman or nothing….
Why, some Nigerian men even shudder just to go down on their women and give her honey a good sucking and lapping of the tongue!
And I tell such men they don’t know what they are missing.
I have met a guy who told me that he wouldn’t mind receiving a blow job from a babe, but he would never marry such a lady.
Why, I asked?
And the moron insisted that for the babe to give him a blow job, it means she’s probably ‘a loose, wayward babe.’
How narrow minded can some men be?
What the heck is the essence of engaging in love making, if you can’t have fun?
I know and you know that we have lesbians and homosexuals in our midst. But many of them are still in the closet. There are however some bold ones.
There was a time I was dating this cool looking guy…he was a handsome looking dude, with his biceps, sinews in their right places.
He was 6ft plus on stocking feet. His hobby was boxing. Gather the picture in your mind’s eyes and you would have what we call a sexy hunk!
He was strolling along the street one day when a dizzy looking guy approached him. The guy was gay and wanted my man to become his lover. I later heard that my man almost flayed him alive!
I bet the gay guy imagined my guy wringing his neck with his muscled hands and bolted.
I have been seeing this gay guy before, but it had never registered that he was gay.
Naturally, I knew he was not like other guys. I knew something was amiss. He used to jerry curl his hair. Paint his eyes and flutter his eyelashes.
And he had an effeminate way of walking and talking. Yeah, sure, I know there are gays in Nigeria.
Why, I also saw such people at Jigawa State where I did my NYSC.
This couple was not ashamed of being gay. They would hold hands together, strolling round the villages. Everyone and everybody knew they were gays.
I was mildly shocked back then that they were flaunting their affair without fear, because those were the hey days of Sharia. It was the period that Zenab was almost killed because she had a child out of wedlock.
I have nothing against people who are gay. I was reading an article once on gay folks, and the argument was that many of them couldn’t and can’t help the way they felt and feel.
I also heard that scientists are working round the clock to know if there is a gene responsible for some people being gay.
My points are these…treat them with kindness, rather than condemnation. If you’re among those that think they are possessed, then pray for them in your spare time. Don’t stigmatize them and learn to attempt to accept that there are mysteries in life that we can’t completely comprehend.
But as for me, I prefer a rod, as hard as Olumo rock, between my thighs!
ebere20@gmail.com.