“ …if things continue like this up to 2019, I will not go out and campaign again and ask any woman to vote like I did before.” – First Lady Aisha Buhari
“I don’t know which party my wife belongs to, but she belongs to my kitchen and my living room and the other rooms” – President Muhammadu Buhari
The above statements by the President of Nigeria and the earlier by his wife have been the bone of contention for the last few days. Some women right groups have come out to condemn the words of President Muhammadu Buhari as undermining the role of women in the society, while some All Progressives Congress cohorts have stood with the president to interpret his statements as being quoted “out of context”. And as always, many have found humour from the discourse and shared them on social media. I can’t say what the heart intent of the President’s statement was [only the Supreme Being could know that]. However there are evidences, or body language as it is commonly called, that can be easily analysed by an unbiased mind.
Recently, a sigh of relief could be heard from all corners of the country, not just the North-east, as the presidency confirmed the release of 21 of the Chibok school girls abducted by Boko Haram in 2014. That same day, the President travelled to Germany, leaving addressing of the Chibok girls to the Vice President, ministers, top government officials and well-meaning Nigerians like the BBOG campaign group. For a “resident who has mouthed the safe return of the Chibok girls as top on his priorities, it’s baffling to know he couldn’t at least briefly visit the girls during their medicals, skipping any press briefing, before flying out for Germany. But no; whisking away to meet another woman, Chancellor Angela Merkel, was more important.
By the way, he had ample time to grant Phil Gayle an interview before leaving Berlin for Aso Rock on Saturday. Addressing international pressmen about internal issues of the country he governs and the family he heads seemed very important. And to think he laughed off Aisha’s vote of no confidence in his governance of the country! This might not necessarily mean he looks down on women, but he definitely means he regards the opinions of his supposed ‘better half’ as irrelevant. If we are to believe Garba Shehu and Governor Rochas Okorocha’s “quoted out of context out-of-context” theory, what are we then supposed to believe when he reaffirmed his ‘the other rooms’ remarks with ‘my wife’s duty is to look after me’ and Aisha has no business with politics? I’d leave the answer for you to decide.
But then, do President Buhari’s sentiments deserve the backlash from women right groups or the ever-vibrant online youths? How wrong is he to say his wife belongs to the kitchen and the other rooms and she has no business in politics? If we are been blunt with ourselves, most women in politics only hold ceremonial positions in the country and only serve as figureheads or election lobby tools. I’ve not heard of any initiative, pet project or charity work a wife to the President, Vice-President, Governor, Senator President, and Speaker of the House of Representatives, did or continues to do before or after their husbands’ terms in office. From Maryam Babangida’s Better Life Programme for Rural Women, to Turai Yar’Adua’s Women and Youth Empowerment Foundation and the immediate past first lady, Dame Patience Jonathan’s Women for Change Initiative; none has survived a day outside the funds of Aso rock. This has been the trend with Governors’ wives nationwide with nothing to show for their women empowerment programmes eventually.
Which of our first ladies or women in the Senate and House of Representatives really added actions to their words when news of women rights abuse and women related incidents spread on the news waves? Let’s start with the abduction over 200 Chibok girls. The same Mama Peace who broke down in tears, crying ‘There is God o!’, hasn’t sang with joy or thrown her weight to sponsor the rehabilitation of the 21 rescued Chibok girls since Thursday. Where did her heart felt compassion for the misfortunes of our daughters go?
Ironically, the first daughter of the President, Hadiza Buhari-Bello, acting as the President of the Africa Support and Empowerment Initiative has pledged support for the girls’ rehabilitation by organising a fundraiser. We never heard of the existence of this initiative all through the two years of the girls’ captivity. And giving benefit of doubt, what happened to the funds Aisha Buhari raised through her book launch which marked two-year anniversary of the abducted Chibok girls? In just one family, two women head two initiatives with similar aims and objectives!!! There is God o!
What of the Ese Oruru saga? The 14-year-old girl allegedly abducted in Bayelsa; and taken to Kano, where she was forced into marriage and conversion to Islam. Ese parents have lamented of their state of abandonment after the initial assistance from the Bayelsa state government. According to the Oruru family, they have been living in below standard conditions caring for a four-month-old child at the police officers mess. Ese has not been going to school because their movement is restricted. Meanwhile the accused, Yunusa, is enjoying freedom on bail.
Another 14-year-old by name Habiba Isa was allegedly converted to Islam and forced into marriage. Unlike the Ese Oruru case, which is still been dragged in court, all parties involved settled the matter outside the court and Habiba has been advised by the police to go back home. Late Mrs. Bridget Agbaheme (beheaded by a mob attack in Kano) and Mrs. Eunice Olawale (murdered while preaching in Kubwa, FCT Abuja) have their cases in court been adjourned from one date to another. In all these cases, we do not hear anything from our First Lady Aisha Buhari or the Ministry of Women Affairs. Any women rights activist group that may have spoken up only huffed and puffed for a while before fizzling out. These matters were only addressed on the borders of religion, ethnicity and constitution; but the consistency in the cases mention is that Women are the victims.
The goal for gender equality in Nigeria cannot come into reality if the only time we hear women speak is muddled up with politics and personal interest. Like the reactions after the “the other rooms” remark, there is always a women rights group that would not rant until when a woman in the seat of power and influence is seemingly victimized. Our memories would not fail us to remember the activist groups that initially stood with Stella Oduah and Diezani Allision Madueke when they were experiencing “trying times”. We only hear of Party women’s coalitions during election periods. This is the common syndrome with most of our women in the helm of affairs. It is either they stick to the scripts of their ogas at the top or they cry ‘Women Rights!’ when their toes are stepped on.
The fight for gender equality should not be fought for as mere rights to a percentage of zoned appointments to women. Rather it should be fought with relevance and significance of women in our economy. Every movement – from abolition of slavery to LGBT rights – has relevant and significant persons in the economy pushing such rights.
The stereotype of ceremonial women did not start today. Esther, the then Queen of Persia, came to be King Xerxes’ wife through a beauty contest. Nobody expected much from her as a ceremonial First lady, whose duties were not expected to exceed the kitchen and the other rooms. But as the story goes, she was highly influential in saving the lives of an entire race of Jews. I believe with the use of creativity, many of our women in the diaspora can break forth from the stigma of second-hand citizens who are dependent on the approval men.
Women can be looked at as not just cooks, helpmates, home builders, children-making factories or sex objects restricted for the kitchen and the other rooms. Women can achieve anything and everything a man can do. You can check out US Presidential candidate, Hilary Clinton, a one-time ceremonial First Lady, and know that the Cinderella story doesn’t necessarily stop at being the Prince’s bride.
But to be fair, a relatively good number of women are breaking the norm. Three Nigerian women who, to the writer, serve as a silver lining for gender equality in Nigeria are Mrs. Ibukun Awosika; a motivational speaker and the first ever chairperson of First Bank of Nigeria Holdings Plc.; Remi Sonaiya, who despite all odds ran for presidency at the 2015 elections and was the second runner up and last but not the least, Oby Ezekwesili; the co-ordinator of the #BringBackOurGirls movement; despite her love hate relationship with the past and present administrations, has stood their ground to exempt herself from the politics.
Furthermore, still cutting some slack for Nigerian women, the push for gender equality is one of the 17 Sustainable Development Goals. It’s pushed for worldwide, not just Nigeria. And looking at the flip side; Aisha’s interview with BBC could be the beginning of good things to come. If the First lady of the Federation could openly share her reservations about the way her husband is running the country, it might; just maybe, not still be business as usual.
. Okunfolami writes from joshuaokunfolami@gmail.com.
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