A cross section of Nigerians have decried the alarming rate of break-up in marriages in the society as shown from divorce cases in customary courts.
The stakeholders who spoke to News Agency of Nigeria in separate interviews expressed sadness over the development, noting that the Nigerian family system was fast degenerating into a fragmented society.
Investigation by NAN at the two customary courts at Mapo, Ibadan, Oyo State revealed that between January 2014 and December 2015, no fewer than 500 divorce suits were filed, out of which 468 of the marriages were dissolved.
Speaking on the development, Chief Ademola Odunade, the Presiding President of one of the customary courts, identified high rate of unemployment in the society among the factors responsible for broken homes.
Odunade explained that most of the divorce cases in the courts were as a result of the inability of the man, the head of the family, to cater for his wife and children.
He said: “The resultant effect is that the wife will become adulterous in order to fend for herself and the children.
“From my many years of experience in handling marriage dissolution cases, all sorts of bad behaviours by wives are responsible for broken homes.
:The husbands also are irresponsible and some even take other wives when they cannot cater for the one at home.
“These are some of common causes of break ups in relationships in this part of the world.”
The judge advised that spouse should always learn to revert to the old practice of using intermediary who could easily mediate when marital crises arose rather than seeking dissolution of their union in court.
Another Ibadan-based customary court president and a community leader, Henric Agbaje, said fading culture of payment of bride price and dowry was responsible for collapse in marriages.
“Our forefathers were not mistaken when they institutionalised bride price payment, dowry and traditional introduction in consummating marriages,” Agbaje said.
Agbaje explained that though men at that time had many wives because of the nature of their occupation (farming), they still cohabited peacefully and displayed sincerity and tolerance.
The jurist identified disintegration of cultural and family values occasioned by modern trends as among the factors for the high rate of divorce.
In her contribution, Toibat Oladele, a divorcee, noted that investigating one’s spouse thoroughly during courtship was imperative to a successful marriage.
Oladele said: “My husband and his first wife were barren for many years and they connived that he should impregnate me, take away the child and push me out.
“All these were not known to me when I jumped into the marriage and now I am out.”
Another divorcee, a banker, who identified herself simply as Morayo, said her marriage lasted for just 18 months when she quitted.
Morayo said: “My so-called husband was a gigolo, simply out for sex and my money.
“We courted for six months before going to the altar and I bore all the expenses for the marriage.
“He told me he was a Surveyor and he executed some contracts, which were yet to be paid for and he would refund all the expenses when they pay him.
“I later found out that all his claims were lies and I blamed myself for not making proper investigation before going into the union.”
Some other divorcees who spoke on condition of anonymity, identified infidelity, irresponsibility, negligence, distrust and sexual starvation among the reasons for the break in their marriages.
Mojeed Adeleke, a regular observer of divorce cases at Mapo customary courts, said old spouses who were supposed to be good examples to newly married ones were not doing any better, judging from cases in the courts.
Adeleke frowned at the high rate of divorce cases involving couples in their late 60s and 70s.
He noted that in most cases, the unions had reached four to five decades with their children already grown up and even married.
Prof. Adeniyi Olatunbosun, the Dean of Faculty of Law, University of Ibadan, said the high rate of marriage dissolutions arose from social problems such as bad economy and intolerable attitudes.
He said government should address the challenge of high rate of unemployment in the society to reduce divorce and encourage blissful marriages.
Prof. Julius Ademokoya, also of the University of Ibadan, said cultural, attitudinal and lack of proper understanding of what marriage is all about contributed to the high rate of marriage break up in the society.
Ademokoya, a rehabilitation counsellor, advised would-be couples to always understudy themselves properly and iron out all issues before embarking on the lifelong journey called marriage.
Kolawole Oyerinde, an Ibadan-based lawyer, told NAN that at least five divorce cases were filed daily at the Oyo State High Court.
Oyerinde said: “Unemployment is a major reason why relationships are breaking down.
“Many young men and women are not engaged in any productive occupation, which leaves them to no option than petty trading, which cannot sustain the home.
“There are some of these petty trading such as selling in motor parks, which are susceptible to fornication, adultery, unwanted pregnancy, forced marriages and eventual broken homes.”
Another expert, Prof. Oka Obono, the Director of the Centre for Peace and Conflict Studies, University of Ibadan, explained that the context of modern industrial society was largely responsible for setbacks in marriages.
Obono said many marriages crumbled owing to constant mobility occasioned by transfer at work, which created disharmony among couples.
The sociologist counselled that couples should imbibe the culture of patience and moral accountability.
Dotun Odebode, an Ibadan-based pastor, blamed the rising divorce cases on the refusal of couples to allow God to decide for them through fervent prayers.
“Adam in the Bible allowed God to choose Eve for him, which turned out to be a perfect choice – for better, for worse,” Odebode said.
An Islamic scholar, Owolabi Abdulyekeen, said true love was what was missing in most marriage unions.
“The Holy Qur’an enjoins spouse to imbibe endurance in their marital journey,” Abdulyekeen said.
NAN.
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