My dear Jimeta,
As I read through your mail, I feel the sadness heavy like a lead upon you.
You want my opinion, but my opinion is not the ultimate. The ultimate solution lies between you and your wife.
The only thing I can say is this: the foundation for a good marriage is truth. Truth is a sister to trust.
Partners should be able to open up to each other. Marriage is a life-time commitment. It’s not a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship where you get to walk out when the heat is too hot in the kitchen.
If a guy wants to marry a lesbian or a lady wants to marry a gay guy, they should be given that option. Tell the person the truth about you and give him/her the chance to decide if he/she still wants you in his life.
Knowing what you are and still walking down the aisle with the naive partner, is a form of a deceit to me. You are leading him/her down a blind alley.
But hey, we’re in a country where everybody frowns and is ready to hurl stones at people they perceive as being different. We fear what we don’t understand. We don’t understand these different men and women and their sexual proclivities.
In Nigeria, lesbians and homosexuals are seen as being different. Nobody wants to understand them. Nobody wants to frolic with them. Very few people are their friends and many want to stone them to death, already assigning them to a portion of land in the lake of fire.
With this mindset, how many women do you think would come out of the closet to say she’s a lesbian, especially to a-would-be-husband?
I used to be scathing about such men and women, but I learned. Now, I try to understand them. And that’s why I have issues with people who describe them as “being possessed by evil spirit”.
Yes, my Nigerian brothers and sisters always bring everything down to spirituality. But I know that some scientists think there may be a gene responsible for it.
In the Nigerian society, a lady is expected to get married at a certain age and begins to procreate.
Whether a lady is lesbian or not, she is expected to get married. She is expected to have babies…
Whether they make good wives is what I don’t know.
I’d never been a lesbian. For reasons I don’t know, I seem to be fascinated by the two-lines-men and one-referee dangling between the thighs of a guy.
I also enjoy those dangling things between a guy’s thighs plunging into my warm crevices.
I’ve been never been particularly interested in female contours and can’t ever remember wondering what the female nipples taste like. I can’t remember ever getting wet by looking at the nakedness of a fellow female.
During my undergraduate days, we were three ladies that lived in the same room. If there was an opportunity to know if my genes were geared towards lesbianism, that would have been the time.
We used to sit naked and eat. We sit naked on the bed and discuss about our boyfriends. We sleep naked because Ilorin, Kwara State weather is humid. In fact, we used to shave each other!
Yep! Shock, aren’t you? Well there it is!
But at no time did I feel compelled to touch or kiss my friends.
But I also know that in my campus – Mini Campus- a lady attempted to rape another lady. For those of you following my column since The Sun days, I’d already told you the story of Irene and Latin.
If you want me to tell you the story all over again, please let me know.
My friend in the office, Juliet Bomah, did a story on housewives and lesbianism. She went undercover, pretending to be a desperate, sexually hungry housewife, searching for women lovers. She discovered several. It was shocking, she said.
I however want to believe that some women may become lesbians after marriage. While some may marry, hoping to be a good wife, but something, maybe a twist of fate may occur, leading to them embracing lesbianism.
Perhaps we need to ask ourselves why a housewife would prefer to fall in love with another female and start a torrid affair with her. Yes, I said love and I didn’t use that word loosely. The emotion, love between lesbians is so thick that you can hardly slice through with a knife. Why would she mortgage her marriage?
Keep a date with us next week.